What i really  find annoying though is girls/women that spend their time and day trying to catch their man cheating when they know if they CATCH him cheating they ain't gonna leave him. DEFEATS the purpose doesen't it? You are better off not finding out , you are just going to get paranoid in the long run, and play silly emotional blackmail games just to make him stay (you will be lucky if he does stay).

Listen ladies!!! We dont live in an ideal world where everything is so black and white. But you have got common sense so USE it. Looking at my past relationship and other people that i've helped over the years i found out how to avoid your man being tempted into cheating (won't work for everybody and not everybody will agree but it has worked for some). Please understand that, not everyone who is in a "relationship" is in the "right" relationship, other women are in crazy relationships  because their relationships are built on the wrong foundation, so irregardless of what i have to say if you dont go back to basics  that relationship is bound to fall and the rest of what im about to say won't save you.

Rules for the Ladies

1) You are NOT indispensable. So treat your man with a very high level of respect. A man should be made to feel like a man, not a worthless object.

2) Communicate with your man, do not harbour anything inside you because when you let it all out.... you will cause an explosion. Also remember Nagging is not communicating!  Words are powerful, and they have the ability to make or break.... choose them carefully.

3)Listen and Understand your man. Most times women just want to talk and be heard but can't be listeners. Listening is powerful, it has the power to console and comfort, build and destroy. Be a good listener and not a talker. In listening is where you find out about what your man likes/ hates, how his day has been at work... when you listen you can be the one to give him the shoulder to cry on when he feels like venting out his anger, a gentle response will calm down an angry heart. So listen.

4) Give him time alone or to be with his friends! I know you might not like his friends, but men are like kids... if you tell him you don't like his friends... he'll probably spend more time with them. Hey! he met them first...women come and go... good friends stay for a life time. Don't cut into your man's football time... give him and his friends cold beers and find something to occupy yourself with in the mean time. The game only lasts  for 90mins!

5) There is no excuse for not taking care of yourself! It doesen't matter if you have been together for 5years, we all know that the INITIAL attraction between the men and woman is the PHYSICAL! Anything else follows after that, so be that woman he fell in love with, keep your hair, nails, clothes and make up fresh. Wear that sexy see through night dress you used to wear when you first met, if you  2 are alone in the house why not spice things up. Don't sit at home, and pile up weight and expect some sympathy, stay healthy and keep in shape! You don't get reluctant because you have a man... like i said earlier... you are not indispensable!

6)We've all heard this one... keep the fire burning! Spice up your sex life, know what your man wants.. know what you want.. sex is not a sport... its a connection.. enjoy it with the one you love! Be spontaneous!

7) Give yourselves time to miss each other....they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

8)Encourage and Support your man, through his career, visions, dreams and aspirations. Be that woman that will stand by him and give him strength to carry on.

9) A baby is a life, not some object you can use to manipulate and trap a man with. If the relationship is not working, then part ways and be grateful for that experience. You can't out of your selfish desires choose to "trap" him with a baby, if he stays... you know deep down in your heart that he's not staying for you, in most cases he will still leave...he will leave you with a responsibility...and you will raise a bitter child that will probably end up being a statistic.

10) Respect his family, you can't disrespect the people he loves the most and claim to love him, some families are hard to deal with... but be a woman who is fuelled by intergrity and dignity not emotions.  

I have a lot of points for the men.... but i'm too tired to type them today.

My Big Theory.

December 17, This Big thing gave my mother so much pain, so many complications.
Like any other i was yearning to come out pushing and kicking...
Pushing, screaming and shouting was my mother.. but i still didn't come out..
I was too BIG! They had to slit her open and then stitch her back up.
Looking into my eyes, forgetting her pain, she whispered "Only God's Grace could have kept you" so she named me Nyasha (Grace Of God).
She told me because she'd bore my pain, i could never be anything inferior i was a higher calling.
With my baby eyes, that failed to open up and see what she saw... I saw this ugly and very big being....FAT
See i was trying to fit into the clothes that they fit into, i was trying to get into the stuff that they were into.
I was looking for beauty in the mirror... and all i saw was a reflection of what i had grown up to hate.
Surrounded by people with the slimmest of waists, all i could do was push my love handles to the back and create an illusion that they didn't exist.

I felt like a child who is in a chocolate factory but is unable to swallow.
But as my child like eyes transformed into an adults mind i began to understand.
That sometimes the prettiest people do the ugliest things.
Understood what my mother meant when she told me i could never be inferior.
When i looked in the mirror i realised i had the outwards beauty and the brains.
I realised that i didn't want to be like them i was happy with who i was.
I was a big conception, a big delivery, a big baby, a big dream, a big blessing, a big human being
My physical appearance illustrated my mindset.

Thus understanding that i could never dream any smaller or be any smaller than i am... because i was a big pregnancy, a big conception, a big delivery.
So why then shall i try and be like them?
Everytime i look into my mothers eyes, i now see what she saw when she called me Gods Grace.
Everytime i try to bow down to average, my heart jumps and rejects it.
My mind cannot think any smaller, because what's in the inside reflects on the outside.
So when you see me and my big hips and body, please understand that... this never happened over night.
I was born a big dream, i can't be anything smaller.